'The things that people don't like to talk about'
Understanding and addressing child sexual abuse from a survivors perspective
My name is Suzzan Blac,
I am an artist, author and advocate against child and adult abuse.
I am also a survivor of child sexual, physical and emotional abuse. Domestic abuse, numerous rapes and sex trafficking.
I also undertake real life research- Encompassing subjects of child sex abuse, paedophilia, sexual assault, sex trafficking and victimology.
Both my art and my insight is utilised within teaching programmes for health and police agencies as a more responsive and empathetic tool for addressing sexual abuse crimes. Rather than and impassive and detached approach-which often just relays facts, statistics and figures.
Today, I will be showing you a selection of my work, taken from forty two images that were painted by me over a four year period between 2000 and 2004.
Initially, I painted these images purely for personal reasons. They were an aid to my own recovery.
I wanted to paint my story of abuse, in order to validate my experiences because I didn't have any real evidence. I don't have photographs or videos of the crimes that were committed against me.
So, I did the next best thing.
Over a period of time, I subconsciously doodled my pain and trauma and then transferred those small drawings onto canvas. They were a way to manifest my psychological trauma into something tangible, something that I could process from an external perspective.
Although I kept my paintings well hidden (especially from my children) A few people did see them. Most expressed negative comments such as -
“Why don't you paint nice pictures?”
“You're sick in the head”
My ex-husband would say -
“Why do you want to live in the past, you enjoy you're pain-You just want attention”
“I will get social services to come and see how mental you are”
So, for ten years I kept these paintings locked away, because of the shame, condemnation and stigma that surrounded sexual abuse.
Until, one day I learned of helping a friend to address and deal with her own abuse.
I believed that maybe my paintings could help other survivors.
If I couldn't openly address my experiences of abuse- Then how could I expect others to do the same?
And so, after posting my images onto social networking, I began to receive many comments and messages from all over the world, expressing gratitude for exposing this subject matter. They were other victims and survivors who identified with and connected to my art. They said that I had given them a voice for something that they could not express themselves.
This fuelled my advocacy. For no one had ever helped me. And it was now clear to me, that I was in a position to help them. My paintings now had a higher purpose- To aid the recovery of other victims and survivors and the agencies that help them.
Today, I hope to achieve a further understanding and open discussion about child sexual abuse.
The main reason being- is that sexual abuse is the worst kind of abuse. Because it is so misunderstood and stigmatised, it exacerbates the impact on the child's psyche and resonates throughout their entire lives.
Today is also about truth. A most taboo, uneasy, upsetting, unpalatable truth that people don't like to talk about.
Except, it has to be talked about. If we don't talk about it. If we don't address and deal with it. Then in essence, we are enabling the perpetrators to continue offending without regard and with impunity. We are also enabling victim-proneness and victimology. Thus exacerbating the silence of the victims and the survivors.
The reason that we are here today is to prevent children from suffering the devastating impact and prolonged trauma of sexual abuse.
I am here to offer my experiences and insight, in my capacity as a survivor of child sexual abuse.
I am here to answer any questions that you may wish to pose and to discuss any relevant issues surrounding sexual abuse, in a most frank and open way. In the hope that my truth will aid your understanding of this most heinous of crimes.
So, let us discuss this most unspeakable truth about child sexual abuse, because children should come first, last and always.
And because they are the weak and the vulnerable – Not us.
My name is Suzzan Blac,
I am an artist, author and advocate against child and adult abuse.
I am also a survivor of child sexual, physical and emotional abuse. Domestic abuse, numerous rapes and sex trafficking.
I also undertake real life research- Encompassing subjects of child sex abuse, paedophilia, sexual assault, sex trafficking and victimology.
Both my art and my insight is utilised within teaching programmes for health and police agencies as a more responsive and empathetic tool for addressing sexual abuse crimes. Rather than and impassive and detached approach-which often just relays facts, statistics and figures.
Today, I will be showing you a selection of my work, taken from forty two images that were painted by me over a four year period between 2000 and 2004.
Initially, I painted these images purely for personal reasons. They were an aid to my own recovery.
I wanted to paint my story of abuse, in order to validate my experiences because I didn't have any real evidence. I don't have photographs or videos of the crimes that were committed against me.
So, I did the next best thing.
Over a period of time, I subconsciously doodled my pain and trauma and then transferred those small drawings onto canvas. They were a way to manifest my psychological trauma into something tangible, something that I could process from an external perspective.
Although I kept my paintings well hidden (especially from my children) A few people did see them. Most expressed negative comments such as -
“Why don't you paint nice pictures?”
“You're sick in the head”
My ex-husband would say -
“Why do you want to live in the past, you enjoy you're pain-You just want attention”
“I will get social services to come and see how mental you are”
So, for ten years I kept these paintings locked away, because of the shame, condemnation and stigma that surrounded sexual abuse.
Until, one day I learned of helping a friend to address and deal with her own abuse.
I believed that maybe my paintings could help other survivors.
If I couldn't openly address my experiences of abuse- Then how could I expect others to do the same?
And so, after posting my images onto social networking, I began to receive many comments and messages from all over the world, expressing gratitude for exposing this subject matter. They were other victims and survivors who identified with and connected to my art. They said that I had given them a voice for something that they could not express themselves.
This fuelled my advocacy. For no one had ever helped me. And it was now clear to me, that I was in a position to help them. My paintings now had a higher purpose- To aid the recovery of other victims and survivors and the agencies that help them.
Today, I hope to achieve a further understanding and open discussion about child sexual abuse.
The main reason being- is that sexual abuse is the worst kind of abuse. Because it is so misunderstood and stigmatised, it exacerbates the impact on the child's psyche and resonates throughout their entire lives.
Today is also about truth. A most taboo, uneasy, upsetting, unpalatable truth that people don't like to talk about.
Except, it has to be talked about. If we don't talk about it. If we don't address and deal with it. Then in essence, we are enabling the perpetrators to continue offending without regard and with impunity. We are also enabling victim-proneness and victimology. Thus exacerbating the silence of the victims and the survivors.
The reason that we are here today is to prevent children from suffering the devastating impact and prolonged trauma of sexual abuse.
I am here to offer my experiences and insight, in my capacity as a survivor of child sexual abuse.
I am here to answer any questions that you may wish to pose and to discuss any relevant issues surrounding sexual abuse, in a most frank and open way. In the hope that my truth will aid your understanding of this most heinous of crimes.
So, let us discuss this most unspeakable truth about child sexual abuse, because children should come first, last and always.
And because they are the weak and the vulnerable – Not us.
